Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I'll Miss You Dad

Anthony Eppolito
October 13, 1930 - March 30, 2010

Too much grief lately. I'll miss you Dad.

My other blog: "The Way I See It"

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Becoming Whole

It's been some time, hasn't it? and what's with all the
comment spam? I guess when you vacate the premises
for a few months, the neighborhood goes downhill and
the riff raff begins to sniff around. I hope it's just a
passing trend. I'd hate to start messing with comment
verification, boo hoo.

My time away has not been filled with wonder and
adventure, but filled with coping and rebuilding a broken
heart. The path I've been on has been interesting in that
I have had to find great strength and acceptance in the face
of fear, sadness and grief. Many valuable lessons are being
learned while a warrior rebuilds herself. These are not, I
repeat, NOT easy lessons, do not try this alone.

In my previous post I was an empty cavity. I wasn't quite
sure how I would rebuild myself. I stared at this self-portrait
now for months and at each stage contemplated how she
spoke to me as I began to patch myself up and refill the coffers.

I painted and scored my heart many times, different colors
before I decided it felt more like BLUE. It didn't feel right
being red or yellow and by this time it was no longer a
black blob.

I felt blue, still suffocating by my insurgent thoughts,
reining terror on my overloaded mind, but healing, slowly.

My blue heart had to stand out. So I painted
the background a fiery red. The imagery and
words stamped into the dress pattern paper were to be
read as affirmations, food for thought.

"100 percent authentic, quality, strength,
durability, safety, approved, for amusement only,
the game of life, start at the beginning, playing by
the rules" Rules? there are no rules.

The pattern numbers, reminded me of longitude and
latitude, the meridians of my particular place in all of
this change, where was I ? where was I headed?

The pattern symbols notches, arrows, fold lines
strategically placed with scratches and stitches added to
depict wounds.

The faces reminded me of family, friends, support.

If you look closely you can see my spine, strong
enough to carry some weight, some call it baggage.
I'd like to refer to it as experience except now without
burden and with acceptance.

The First NobleTruth- "Dukkha" Sanskrit for 'the truth
of suffering' The existence of impermanence.

Simply. "Nothing Good or Bad Lasts Forever"

In all of this I have thought of YOU, those who have
greater suffering, can suffering be measured? or is it how
we choose to acknowledge it? YOU are in my prayers,
my dear family, my friends and those I've yet to meet
I send you comfort, love, compassion and peace.

~ Andrea aka "ThE ArTfuL EyE" and "The Way I See It"