Sunday, February 7, 2010

Becoming Whole

It's been some time, hasn't it? and what's with all the
comment spam? I guess when you vacate the premises
for a few months, the neighborhood goes downhill and
the riff raff begins to sniff around. I hope it's just a
passing trend. I'd hate to start messing with comment
verification, boo hoo.

My time away has not been filled with wonder and
adventure, but filled with coping and rebuilding a broken
heart. The path I've been on has been interesting in that
I have had to find great strength and acceptance in the face
of fear, sadness and grief. Many valuable lessons are being
learned while a warrior rebuilds herself. These are not, I
repeat, NOT easy lessons, do not try this alone.

In my previous post I was an empty cavity. I wasn't quite
sure how I would rebuild myself. I stared at this self-portrait
now for months and at each stage contemplated how she
spoke to me as I began to patch myself up and refill the coffers.

I painted and scored my heart many times, different colors
before I decided it felt more like BLUE. It didn't feel right
being red or yellow and by this time it was no longer a
black blob.

I felt blue, still suffocating by my insurgent thoughts,
reining terror on my overloaded mind, but healing, slowly.

My blue heart had to stand out. So I painted
the background a fiery red. The imagery and
words stamped into the dress pattern paper were to be
read as affirmations, food for thought.

"100 percent authentic, quality, strength,
durability, safety, approved, for amusement only,
the game of life, start at the beginning, playing by
the rules" Rules? there are no rules.

The pattern numbers, reminded me of longitude and
latitude, the meridians of my particular place in all of
this change, where was I ? where was I headed?

The pattern symbols notches, arrows, fold lines
strategically placed with scratches and stitches added to
depict wounds.

The faces reminded me of family, friends, support.

If you look closely you can see my spine, strong
enough to carry some weight, some call it baggage.
I'd like to refer to it as experience except now without
burden and with acceptance.

The First NobleTruth- "Dukkha" Sanskrit for 'the truth
of suffering' The existence of impermanence.

Simply. "Nothing Good or Bad Lasts Forever"

In all of this I have thought of YOU, those who have
greater suffering, can suffering be measured? or is it how
we choose to acknowledge it? YOU are in my prayers,
my dear family, my friends and those I've yet to meet
I send you comfort, love, compassion and peace.

~ Andrea aka "ThE ArTfuL EyE" and "The Way I See It"


Lucky Dip Lisa said...

What an utterly moving and breathtaking artwork Andrea. I don't think words can descripe it perfectly, or atleast none that are forming in my head. This is bitter sweet for me. On one hand I am thrilled to see your completed doll and hear of the healing that's taken place and on the other I am sad, because someone I like has had undertake such a sad journey. I am sure it's not over, perhaps it never really is...I'm not sure...but atleast you don't journey this road broken and alone.
Be well:) I've missed you.x

Anonymous said...

Your art is breathtaking. I am sad to hear of this huge journey that you have been taking! I am glad that you have paved a new road! I have missed you so, friend! HUGS and much LOVE!

Tamsie said...

This is a beautiful work of art. The sculpture and the words. There is a marriage of heart and soul.
As you walk this new path..look down, you might see my foot prints.

Deborah Truesdell said...


Wow! Having viewed this piece from a thought in your head to the finished (or should I say, evolving) version is very powerful and amazing. Art truly imitating life. I love that you only know how to share your truth, vulnerability and strength. We are the ones beside you as you find your way, and what an honor it is to do that.

John M. Mora said...

Such honest expression, all our best, j.

Unknown said...

sweetheart ♥
i am so happy to see you back remind me/us once again of the healing power of art. and so it goes.
know, as always, that i am here supporting you. the redwoods and the ocean send out their best as well.


Carmen said...

This piece is incredible. I love that you shared your story along with it.

Oxana said...


Debrina said...

Hi Andrea - it is so nice to see you back here. The artwork is just an incredibly powerful piece and we all know, I think, that there was a great price to be paid for it to be that way. I am sad that whatever you went through was something that ripped your world to shreds...I experienced the same feelings you are describing here at what should have been the happiest time in my I feel for you. I wish you a continuing path of healing and when you are back on track I look forward to participating in a creative collaboration with you one day.

Tami Bayer said...

Andrea, I'm in awe of your heartfelt artwork and the painful journey that led you to it. From every bad thing in life something good comes to light. Wishing you peace as you walk this road.

Anonymous said...

This is incredibly beautiful, Andrea! I'm so glad to see that you're emerging on the other side of that awful, painful experience. And in such a magnificent way! You've somehow transformed it into something so good and beautiful. You're an alchemist! I'm in awe. I'm working on this round robin project and the theme is 'Art Saves.' If this here isn't the perfect example of that, I don't know what is. It's so good to see this. I wish you all kinds of goodness. Also, thanks for your prayers for my grandmother! xoxo Serena

Just call me Silly Sal said...

I am so happy to have met you through our mutual friend, Deborah. I had a wonderful and insightful lunch with you guys following Alice.

Your "piece" written about and displayed above says it all. I hope to see you again and perhaps get together to play.

Heidi said...

Beautiful you, beautiful art, beautiful soul! I am so sad for your pain but joyous for your re-discovery and growth - we just never know what life holds but it is true what they say; time is a great healer. I hope to see you in October!
XO - Heidi

Mauricio said...

Nice art Andrea!

Good see your blog again

Cory said... much emotion.
Art heals eventually.

My condolence,

Jules said...

Thank you for sharing your art and your journey. It is inspirational to read of another's experiences of the common human condition. I love the expressiveness of your figure..beautiful idea to have a self portrait doll.

palouse rwist said...

You have spoken to my heart as I search for understanding of the "eye".
Thank you for sharing your experience.
Your expression touched me. I no longer run from all that comes with us into this world. It is only when I embrace sadness, pain and joy"all of it, that I understand and give boot to fear.

I understand Beethoven and you.

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rohan_here said...

The Artful Eye
Becoming Whole

It's been some time, hasn't it? and what's with all the
comment spam? I guess when you vacate the premises
for a few months, the neighborhood goes downhill and
the riff raff begins to sniff around. I hope it's just a
passing trend. I'd hate to start messing with comment
verification, boo hoo.